


In Love with an Angel

by crazywalls



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Feels, Doubt, First Time, M/M, Melancholy, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 11:36:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5126057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazywalls/pseuds/crazywalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an incredible night with Castiel Dean has doubts and finally leaves. But his feelings for the angel are too strong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Love with an Angel

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by Angel by Theory of a Deadman, On my Own and Broken One by Ashes Remain, the lyrics are from Broken One, the title is from Angel. All of them are great for listening while reading :)

Faint sunlight shimmered through the thin yellow and orange curtains, painting golden patterns on the king-size bed and the two men on it. It was still early, the only sounds the weak swoosh of the cars on the highway and the birds singing outside the dirty window.

Dean lay on his side, his head leaned on his hand, and let his eyes trace over Castiel’s body. He smiled sadly as he took in the tousled dark hair, the stubble on Castiel’s cheeks that had burned against his skin the night before, the soft pink lips that had worshipped his body. He ghosted his fingertips over Cas’s chest and the rumpled white dress shirt that was only partially buttoned up.

The blanket had slid off the bed, allowing Dean a peek at Castiel’s hip bones over his boxers and the faint bruises Dean’s fingers had left on his skin before Cas turned around in his sleep.

He wanted to look into the incredible blue eyes he loved so much one last time but he knew he had to leave before Castiel woke up. Staying would mean holding him back, making him vulnerable. It would mean sinning again. Corrupting the angel. Risking him to be cast out.

Dean had fallen in love with the angel years ago, he had pulled himself together, tried to get rid of the feelings the whole time but last night he had finally cracked. They had fought, a heated word had led to another and suddenly Cas had pushed him up against the wall like he’d done once, a few years back. But instead of Castiel punching him, beating him up, he’d just stood there and glared at him and Dean couldn’t help himself, he’d leaned forwards and pressed his lips against Castiel’s.

When Cas had kissed him back Dean was sure that this was what heaven really felt like. Soon both men were breathlessly kissing each other, grabbing and exploring the other’s body and finally ripping their clothes off.

It was like he’d found his missing part when Dean had fallen asleep in Cas’s arms. But when he’d awoken this morning the scratches on his back from Castiel’s nails dragging over his skin weren’t the only things hurting. The mere thought of leaving him made his heart ache but Dean knew he had to go.

He couldn’t stay with Castiel. Not only would he, a hunter, never be good enough for the angel, he knew staying together would mean Cas getting hurt at one point or the other. Maybe even killed because of him. Everyone Dean cared about died and he was sure he was the reason for that.

Dean knew he would do anything for Cas. Anything. Even if it meant leaving him forever and setting him free, hoping the angel would not come looking for him.

When Castiel had called his name as he came and told him he loved him in a breathless whisper a few moments later Dean hadn’t been able to say it too, even though he felt the exact same way. The uneasy feeling that all of this was a huge mistake had become painful knowledge when Dean had woken up drenched in sweat after a nightmare and watched Cas sleep the rest of the night, unable to fall asleep again.

Finally he brought himself to get up quietly and get dressed without waking Castiel. He hesitated at the door, hand resting on the handle. Just one last time he wanted to kiss the angel, hold him in his arms and breathe in his unique scent but instead he grabbed the blue tie that had been thrown over the chair next to the door carelessly and tucked into his jeans pocket before he left the room and closed the door quietly.

Dean got into the Impala and drove onto the highway without looking back. His hands clutched the wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white and his jaw was clenched. His shirt chafed against the scratches on his back and the pain was yet another bittersweet reminder of the night he wanted – needed – to forget so desperately.

Even though it was way too early to be drinking Dean decided this was the only thing he could do to maybe forget about this miserable life with all of its demands for a little while. Of course he knew he could never really forget Castiel but the alcohol might be able to numb the pain.

Not able to stand the silence in the car Dean turned on the radio. He’d driven a few dozen miles, trying to focus on the road ahead, when an unfamiliar song started playing. Listening with half an ear Dean sped up a little until the words of the chorus made him sit up and bite his lip.

‘…I know that you know, we once saw the light.  
You know that I know, nothing is alright.

I don't need you, but I need you to know that I need you  
So much.  
Cause I am the broken one, the fallen son.  
Rising to breathe in your touch.’

He couldn’t help thinking about Cas and how amazing it had felt to finally, finally be with him. And most importantly, it had felt so right to be in his arms and feel the angel pressed against him, as if it was just… meant to be, even if it sounded clichéd. He couldn’t be on his own, not anymore, not after that foretaste of what was to come.

Without another thought he turned the car around in the middle of the highway, ignored the honking cars in front of and behind him and sped up again. He just couldn’t be without Castiel, and he didn’t want to. Cas was the only good thing in his life and he wasn’t ready to give it up.

Dean was still scared but somehow, he hoped, everything would turn out okay. Maybe there really was something like a happy ending, even for him. He was determined to give it a shot.

Driving like a maniac Dean reached the motel after what felt like forever but could only have been forty minutes and parked the car in the same spot as the day before. It only took him a few seconds to pick the lock and sneak back into the room to find Cas still asleep.

He carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and gently caressed Castiel’s cheek before leaning down and kissing him softly. When he pulled back blue eyes blinked up at him wearily, then a smile appeared on the angel’s face.

“Good morning.” His voice sounded even rougher and lower than usual as Cas tilted his head, his expression becoming confused. “Why are you dressed?”

Dean just shook his head with a soft smile and murmured “Doesn’t matter.”

He felt Castiel grip the lapel of his jacket and pull him down, a second later his lips were met by Cas’s and he closed his eyes. His heart pounded rapidly and Dean knew he’d made the right decision. He belonged with Cas.

When Castiel tugged at his jacket Dean complied, took it off and threw it to the ground before he straddled Cas’s waist and was pulled into another, deeper kiss.

Cas started undoing Dean’s pants as he kissed him hungrily and couldn’t get his clothes off fast enough. Dean moaned, nipped and sucked on Castiel’s neck and shoulders, leaving a second set of marks on Cas’s skin.

He groaned at the heat of Cas’s body, the friction and the passionate kisses. His head fell back as he entered Cas and it was like everything was perfect for a moment.

As they were joined Dean buried his face in the crook of Castiel’s neck. Cas threaded his hands through Dean’s hair and turned his head to kiss his cheek.

“Thank you for coming back,” he whispered into Dean’s ear just as Dean reached his climax.


End file.
